Obligatory Intro Post

Bear with me, folks. I haven't had a blog since the ancient days of Xanga. When that got lame as the site was forced to become like MySpace or die (hidden third option: continue to exist as pathetic shell of its former self!), I basically stopped blogging, though I write now more than ever.

So, is this something people do? Announce themselves to the world and declare, "Ladies and gentlemen, I know there are already too many blogs in the world, but THIS is why I'm adding mine to the pile!"? Perhaps it's just the OCD part of my brain (also known as: my entire brain) that makes me want my blog, like everything else, to have an actual beginning.

If you're stumbling upon this blog for the first time (and "stumbling" is likely the only way you'll end up here, most assuredly after drinking too much and Googling something like "naked monkey poop flinging"), here are the basics on me:

I'm a writer. I haven't clocked in somewhere in over five years, and although my continuing college career has allowed me to only write for what's essentially a part-time income, I'm still sticking doggedly to the idea that I will only a) write and/or b) teach some form of college-level English to make money from here on out. Well, that, and prostitute myself, duh.

I guess you could say I hedge my bets by writing about whatever I can. I have my ghostwriting and SEO stuff to help pay most of the bills, a little mixed martial arts writing to pay other bills and get my name out there, and a bunch of other currently unpaid writing. I'm struggling with the idea of writing without the promise of x amount of dollars waiting at the end of each task, but then again, I don't want to be a career ghostwriter, I want to be Jon fucking Hartley, guy who writes awesome stuff with his name printed clearly at the top, yet still can afford to survive.

To that end, this blog will be where I dump my thoughts off onto you, dear reader. I will shuck them like so many layers from my lazy, resistant brain and place them here in little bins so that you can either ingest them or reject them as insufficient to your intellectual diet. As always, there's a hidden third option here, too, which is "ignore their existence", but you're already here and we both know it's too late for that.