150 Movies in 90 Days: The Iron Lady and Tower Heist

So before today, my slow start had left me with 136 movies to watch in just 66 days. That means I need to watch two movies every day for the next 66 days, along with a handful of three-movie days tossed in for good measure. Yikes. Good thing I watched two movies today, huh?

June 14: #15, The Iron Lady

“We will stand on principle or we will not stand at all.”

I wasn’t all that interested in watching The Iron Lady, but decided to anyway when I found it at my local library on DVD. (Remember, friends: visit your local library often!) I do not know much of British politics and knew even less about Margaret Thatcher before watching this film, but I’m a sucker for great acting performances, which means I’m also a sucker for Meryl Streep.

Let’s get it out of the way: Meryl Streep is great here, hitting all the highs, lows, and even effortlessly portraying Thatcher in her later years as she (apparently) experiences dementia. Now, whether the film should have shown those years is apparently part of a big debate, and even the framed narrative that it creates is very much hit and miss, with most of the hits coming on early in the film and the misses coming later as the gimmick wears thin.

Historical inaccuracies are a part of biopics, but when the subject is an important world leader from the modern era, I think a little more accuracy is required. Specifically, the idea of presenting Thatcher as the lone female member of Parliament is troubling, as it cheaply stacks the odds against her when no exaggeration was really needed. A seemingly slight choice like that can easily take a biopic into propaganda territory. Even after Thatcher becomes Prime Minister, there are no female faces in the House of Commons, although in reality, there were 27 when she was elected and 43 when she left office.

Some other choices also led to mixed results: the use of archival footage showing riots and other events interspersed with new footage of the actors filmed in high definition is jarring. The footage is visceral and jaw-dropping, but makes it hard to suspend your disbelief when we cut back to what are obviously just actors on a set.

The story itself is good enough, but stronger early on before politics completely take over. When that happens, the film is so careful to stay neutral that it doesn’t really say much at all. Thatcher was determined and controversial, but what else was she? Grade: B-

June 14: #16, Tower Heist

Did you guys know that Matthew Broderick is still alive? Me either!

I’ve had Tower Heist on my radar since it came out in theaters and I heard that Eddie Murphy makes an appearance as his old self in the film. As someone who was watching Eddie Murphy Raw and Coming to America dozens of times before puberty, I’m always willing to forgive all of Eddie’s PG-rated sins if he decides to go back to cussing and actually being funny again.

I’ll confess that I didn’t know much else about the film until I grabbed at my local library the other day (I mean it; patronize your local library!). I mean, I surmised that there was a Tower, and that at some point a Heist would go down, but other than that, I didn’t know anything.

It turns out that Tower Heist has a really clever plot where some average hotel workers who have had their savings accounts swindled by a white collar criminal decide to recoup their money the only way that they can: by stealing it from said criminal’s penthouse apartment. Not only is this a great setup, but you can’t deny the timing, since white collar criminals have been particularly unpopular over the past ten years or so.

I think I’ve usually enjoyed heist films because I also enjoy films with capable ensemble casts. Tower Heist certainly fits the bill, as everyone involved performs wonderfully, including Eddie Murphy in a role that is quite a bit less substantial than I thought it would be, but still very entertaining. In particular, Alan Alda of MASH fame is terrific; he’s alternately likable as a rich, yet relatable person and easy to dislike as a cocky, unapologetic criminal once he makes his turn.

Even Ben Stiller is surprisingly restrained in this, which is good, because if he went full-blown Stiller on us very often it would totally destroy the mood of the film. Stiller is the leader and a straight man for the most part here, and he sticks to his role dutifully. 

Anyway, the movie is really good right up until the caper itself, when I feel like some liberties are taken that make it lose a little steam. That and a somewhat unsatisfying ending leave Tower Heist feeling a little flat, but it’s ultimately still a good heist film. It’s also unfortunate that much of the humor outside of Murphy’s scenes isn’t very effective, but I think the great premise and pacing make up for it. Grade: B

150 Movies in 90 Days: Done With Die Hard

June 12: #13, Live Free or Die Hard
June 13: #14, A Good Day to Die Hard

Now with more annoying hacker hipster types and twice the family drama!

So, when you think to yourself, “What’s missing in the Die Hard franchise?” do you come to the conclusion that the answer is definitely “that cocky prick from the ‘I’m a Mac’ commercials”? Of course you don’t, because you're a rational human being with a functioning brain, not an overpaid suit sitting in a board room somewhere trying to figure out how to unnecessarily make a classic franchise “cool to kids nowadays”.

I’ve long had a theory about aging music acts. One reason why they fail in the long run is that twenty years after they were last relevant, they try to “update” their sound. They either go full-blown adult contemporary or worse yet, try to go with whatever is popular in the current era. News flash, aging rockers- your fans want you to do more shit that’s JUST LIKE the shit that they liked in the first place! If you’re a hair metal band, MAKE MORE HAIR METAL. If you’re a 70s rock band, MAKE MORE 70s ROCK.

And if you’re making a new Die Hard movie, just MAKE ANOTHER DIE HARD MOVIE. Let’s not complicate things.

The fourth film in the franchise, Live Free or Die Hard, does okay in that regard. John McClane shoots lots of people, and Timothy Olyphant, though he spends nearly the entire movie in a control room, is a good (if slightly plain) villain. Though it pains me to admit it, Justin Long (as Matt Farrell) is even tolerable much of the time. Kevin Smith makes an appearance, and he’s great. So what’s wrong with Live Free or Die Hard (besides the title which seems like a phrase that should be tattooed below an image of a bald eagle tearing through an American flag)?

- McClane’s daughter, Lucy McClane (sorry, I mean “Gennero”…yes, the same thing her mother pulled back in the first film) is an annoying character played annoyingly by an annoying actress.

- About 40% of the film is spent watching somebody hurriedly type on a keyboard because HACKING.

- Longtime staples of the franchise are just plain gone, such as McClane teaming up with everyday blue collar folks (no, computer hackers don’t count), and where’s the obligatory black guy for McClane to team up with? THESE THINGS MATTER.

- At one point, when Farrell would literally seem to serve no further purpose, McClane is about to leave him behind and I literally yelled, “FINALLY!” at my TV, only for Farrell to apparently hear me and go, “No, I’m coming along.”

Like almost every other Die Hard film, this one’s about twenty minutes too long. However, it also has an action scene set in a tunnel that is absolutely amazing and worth the price of admission, even if that price is watching the Die Hard franchise limp towards a slow death. Grade: C+

If Live Free or Die Hard is an awkward title, A Good Day to Die Hard is the one where the series finally lives up to its potential of a title that sounds like a Hugh Hefner biopic. It’s also the movie where the series goes full blown 24 on us and finally overloads on shots of people scurrying around in a control room, hurriedly speaking in code while being filmed with a shaky hand-held camera.

The story wants to be intelligent, but it doesn’t need to be. A Good Day to Die Hard tries to appeal to its aging fan base with a story of political intrigue when truthfully, that’s not why any of us choose to watch a Die Hard movie. Like the aging rock bands from earlier, this film misses the point and therefore, loses its audience.

Ditto with the shoehorned family drama, as we watch McClane and his son, who is a secret agent, bicker at one another incessantly throughout the entire film. It was like being in a room with my dad and my older brother for more than five minutes, honestly. When they’re not trading sarcastic comments, McClane’s son is whining about McClane not being a good dad. Meanwhile, McClane as a father is still not a good look. He alternates being annoying with simply being a total prick.

So, they’ve replaced McClane’s quips with family bickering. Fun! And to top it off, you get the least charismatic, least interesting set of villains in the franchise’s history, along with a totally obvious plot twist to go with it. Does McClane even exchange barbs with the villain? No, not really. Again, that would have taken valuable screen time away from McClane and son awkwardly working out their issues in front of us.

I've taken the liberty of writing my own original dialogue for A Good Day to Die Hard, just to show how easy it is to write awful scenes full of unnecessary, poorly-scribed father/son drama.

OLD MCCLANE watches as MCCLANE'S BORING SON fumbles with wires, not knowing which wire to cut.

OLD MCCLANE: Would you stop being such a complete disappointment and cut the fucking wire already?!? No wonder I never paid attention to you when you were a kid!

MCCLANE'S BORING SON: Oh, should I cut the wire? Like how you cut me out of your life, "John"?

Then, later on:

OLD MCCLANE and MCCLANE'S BORING SON burst into a room to rescue a hostage...that isn't there. Instead, there's a bomb and the door locks behind them.

OLD MCCLANE: Where the hell's the hostage?

MCCLANE'S BORING SON: He's not here...just like you weren't at any of my birthday parties, baseball games, or graduations.

OLD MCCLANE: I HAD SHIT TO DO DAMN YOU.

MCCLANE'S BORING SON: And look- there's a bomb! It's a trap!

OLD MCCLANE: I haven't felt trapped like this since your mom told me she was pregnant with your worthless ass.

See? It's easy.

Another issue is that with the new emphasis on realism and gritty authenticity, some of the head-scratching moments that wouldn’t have bothered me in earlier Die Hard films stick out like a sore thumb. For instance, when the McClanes work their way out of their handcuffs with their hands behind their backs and in full view of the armed henchmen behind them, or when John McClane suddenly realizes something is up at a key moment of the film when literally nothing suspicious is happening whatsoever. Also, as Taken 2 showed us, countries without “United States” in their names are automatically uncivilized and have little to no police presence, so you can blow up all the shit you want, no biggie.

You know what, though? There's a pretty amazing chase scene in the film. The scene even succeeds despite director John Moore's attempts to undermine it with a jarring tendency to cut to a zoomed-out camera that looks like it's being shot from a TV news helicopter, then abruptly zoom in on the vehicles. It's an absolutely ridiculous scene, but it's fun, unlike the rest of the movie. And it's early in the film, so when the chase is over, you can just turn it off! Grade: D+

150 Movies in 90 Days: Rise of the Guardians

June 12: #12, Rise of the Guardians

I pledge not to use the words "magic", "innocence", or "belief" in this review.

 
I feel like Rise of the Guardians is a generic enough title that it could be for a movie about anything: hobbitses protecting a ring, a documentary about video game console fanboys coming to the defense of their system of choice, or in this case, creepy versions of all the myths we teach children about coming forth to fight the boogeyman.

Well, not all of the "Guardians" are creepy. Santa Claus just kinda looks like a biker. He's got tattoos on his forearms- one says "Naughty" and one says "Nice". Oh, and he's Russian and has eyebrows like Heihachi from the Tekken games.

The Easter Bunny, though? He looks creepy as hell. Not just because he's Australian, either. I guess there's no way to make a 6'1" bunny that walks on his hind legs without the whole thing setting off someone's creepometer, but still. You've gotta try.

Surprisingly, they do a good job of making the Tooth Fairy, a woman who collects the teeth of children obsessively, into a somewhat normal character. Sure, they come up with the dumbest excuse ever for why she keeps childrens' teeth to do so (they store your memories), but whateves. The Sandman is tiny and mute, but nobody gives a crap about him.

Apparently, the Man on the Moon chooses Guardians, which yes, is pretty dumb. Work with me here. Some of the other changes, mostly made for comedic effect, are pretty amusing- yetis make all of the toys for Santa, and the elves are completely incompetent. There's a natural rivalry between Santa and the Easter Bunny that is hit-and-miss, but often results in moments worth a chuckle.

Then there's Jack Frost, our protagonist. He doesn't want to be a Guardian: "You're all hard work and deadlines and I'm all snowballs and fun times." Jack Frost works as pretty much an representation of the irresponsible teenager who just wants to have fun and not accept responsibilities. Unfortunately, he's the key to defeating the boogeyman (actually, "Pitch Black" for what I assume are copyright reasons?), so the group has to convince him to help them do so, and away we go.

My brother, Chris, saw it with his wife and kids in 3D and enjoyed it, and I can see why. There are some great set pieces, including a ride on Santa's sleigh that I'll bet was amazing in 3D. There are some battles that work really well, to the point where the film almost seems like The Avengers, with Santa and friends standing in for the Marvel superheroes.

The animation is exceptional during the flashier scenes, but when things slow down, I'm just not a big fan of the style itself or many of the character designs. The designs kind of remind me of the style of the Shrek films, which I don't really like, and to me are a little bit "uncanny valley" instead of endearing in the way that Pixar's art is. Still, this is a likable enough film with good pacing and enough original ideas to go along with the borrowed mythology, and hey, the kids liked it. Grade: B-

150 Movies in 90 Days: The Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2

My first introduction to Ash was in Army of Darkness, which I still consider to be a masterpiece that is above the criticism of mere mortals like myself. However, I'm ashamed to say that until June 11th, 2013 (over 15 years after I first saw Army of Darkness), I had never seen the other two films in the series: The Evil Dead and The Evil Dead 2.

I even bought them, sometime last year when I was looking around and the Blu-ray versions of both were on sale. Still didn't watch them, though, bogged down by school, work, and...well, school. That's part of the reason I'm doing this whole thing, in fact- I have far too many movies on my shelf that I've bought, but haven't watched.

June 11: #10, The Evil Dead

...and in related news, corn syrup prices have soared...

 
I've known for years that Army of Darkness represented a complete departure from the first film in the trilogy, The Evil Dead. Even knowing that, though, I had no fucking idea how much of a departure it was. Let me represent it for you the only way I know how- with a poorly-done graphic made in two minutes using Paint:

I'm not just saying this because The Evil Dead is a straight-up horror film. The production values are completely different, and necessarily so because The Evil Dead was made on a shoestring budget. Ash as a character is, well, not really Ash. At least, not until late into the film, and even then he is still just a regular guy who's pretty damn freaked out regular than the cocky hero with the quips he has become two films later.

When I watched The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, I was struck over and over by how familiar a film could be even though I've never seen it before. This movie is that way because so many aspects of the film have been repeated and borrowed elsewhere since it was made. I mean, Cabin in the Woods literally does not exist without this, and if you've seen it, you'll enjoy this simply by recognizing where they got so many of the tropes.

Same with Army of Darkness. They're miles apart (literally, look at the graphic!) in many ways, but both films feature the "camera flying through the woods" technique to show that very bad things are coming, the tendency of everyday objects becoming possessed (most notably, mirrors), and of course, cabins. Then you also have the moment in Army of Darkness where a deadite appear to be dead, but isn't really, and Ash knows it. That suddenly makes sense, now.

Things I loved about The Evil Dead- the music, especially in the first half. It's wonderfully minimalistic and includes pianos, organs, all kinds of creepy touches that don't TELL you to be prepared for one of the stupid jump scares that modern horror films are so proud of, but instead suggest that terror is around the corner.

Furthermore, the film is just SO Sam Raimi.

Which is way better than being "SO Raven".

Raimi's directing is inspired and more than anything is what lifts this film above being a forgettable gore-fest. There are loads of examples, but I'll limit myself to one scene that contains several: Ash is going down into the cellar to check on a friend who went down previously, and obviously, we know that's not good. As he goes down the stairs, there's a closeup on his shoes that follows them down, step by step. He looks up, and we see from his perspective the opening of the cellar with his friends' worried faces looking down. When he gets to the bottom of the stairs, we are looking at him before we pan all the way around in a slow 360 that shows us the entirety of the creepy cellar before it makes its way back to Ash's face. Brilliant stuff.

Oh, and there's blood. TONS of it. As in, "enough that you just start laughing". Between that, the crap that comes out of the mouths of possessed folk when they die (looks like milk?), and some pretty bad claymation effects, it's hard to say that The Evil Dead is actually scary. But it's good! Grade: B

June 11:  #11, The Evil Dead 2

I'm not going to draw a completely separate crappy Paint graphic to show where The Evil Dead 2 stands on the Evil Dead-Army of Darkness continuum, but imagine that it's somewhere between the river shark and the first, smaller peak. Somehow, it manages to take two completely different things and bring them together in a way that does not seem completely forced or disjointed.

Now, at first, I thought the film was creepy, and not for the right reasons. There was Ash, taking a new girlfriend to the cabin where his friends were possessed and died, and hey, why not give the new girlfriend the necklace that belonged to the old one before you decapitated her with a shovel?

Then I realized that even though it was a new actress, the footage was re-shot (and just plain different), and all of the friends were excluded, it was actually a quick recap of what happened in the first film. Alrighty, then.

We get a lot of the same tricks from Raimi as in the first film; again, we see the camera zooming through the woods to symbolize the demonic forces heading to the cabin, and he even re-uses the 360 camera pan. This time, though, everything is more polished without losing any of the grittiness, likely simply because of the increased budget.

I kind of lied when I said that the change from a straight-up horror film to whatever the hell you'd call Army of Darkness wasn't abrupt, as there is quite a tone change when Ash decides to attach a chainsaw to the stump where his right hand used to be and then simply says, "Groovy." I didn't mind, though, nor did I mind when Ash pins down his possessed right hand underneath a pile of books, the top of which is A Farewell to Arms.

I'm not sure if it's because Evil Dead 2 feels a bit more fleshed out while The Evil Dead is kind of bare-bones, or if it's because the acting and just about everything else is better in the sequel, but I prefer the second film to the first. Maybe it's the Freddy Krueger glove hiding in plain sight as Ash walked through a doorway in the cellar? (My wife actually spotted it; I had to rewind.) Okay, it was probably that AND the ballet-dancing corpse. Grade: B+